It isn't always easy for a town to find love, but that doesn't stop them looking.
Stratford: Romeo4678
Romance isn't my middle name. Don't ask my middle name. Ok, it's Derek. But I've got a silver tongue anyway and I think it's real important to be real good with words when you are romancing. And I'm real good with words. That's because I channel the spirit of Shakespeare, that famous writing fella.
If you don't believe me you can see it four times daily at 10am, 1pm, 3pm and 7pm. It's pretty amazing. I've used Swiss Glockenspiel technology to celebrate English literary greatness. Clever as, eh. In the past I've had flings with Pahiatua, Foxton and a steamy little tangle with Inglewood, just to give you an idea of what works for me. I don't want to write a sonnet about it but everyone reckons there is no beating me on a good day, not that I'm against a bit of slap and tickle.
New Plymouth: WestcoastFabio.
Don't take this the wrong way but it's not like I need someone to share my life with. I'm perfectly happy. In fact I am more than happy. I have happiness to spare, my cup runneth over in a glorious waterfall of joy. Which is why I am here really. I'm so incredibly happy I need to share it with another town. For their sake, not mine. By God, I am just simply fantastic.
Yeah I enjoy long walks on the beach but really, really prefer long walks on a concrete path lined with tasteful wooden benches and vandal-proof lighting and a wondrous community spirit.
I think that is the way of the future and because I am New Plymouth I think you will find I am right. Even for a town of 60,000 I am a big deal. I'm not saying that to skite or be smug. It's just fact. You simply cannot beat me on a good day. That is also a fact.
Genuine responses only.
Opunake: Monorailfan27
Life is one big trip and I am looking for towns to take that trip with me. The more the merrier I say.
I'm a progressive, no point denying that. I mean I have two Four Square shops and I am liberal, I mean, I'm into new ideas. Like, I'm really into new ideas. Basically you can tell me about anything and I will be into it. The latest thing I'm considering is a monorail. After that I will probably go for an artificial milk producing plant, then perhaps I'll build a replica of Mt Fuji.
That would be cool. That would be totally off the hook. That would make me unbeatable on a good day. Come join the ride.
Oakura: Chillin312
You can probably tell from my profile photo I'm hot, so there is no need for me to mention that. I'm into bikinis, board shorts, chardonnay-soaked real estate discussions, late model Volkswagon station wagons and delightfully precocious children. Sometimes people try and take potshots at me because I am so good looking and have wads of cash so if you hang with me you have to be ready for a bit of resentment. I am looking for a small, confident, warm, sexy and slightly clueless East Coast town to share my life with. Ask anyone and they will tell you on good days nothing beats Oakura. Oh, and by life I mean just a night or two.
Hawera: Southernpride1
It's only because I lost a bet with Eltham that I am even here. I'm not looking for anyone to share my life with. I don't need anyone to share my life with. Everything I need I have and since I got that McDonalds I have more than I need. But while I'm here you may as well know about my water tower. It's the biggest in Taranaki, perhaps the biggest in the lower North Island. Sure it's got a slight lean but it's still the biggest in Taranaki. Good, bad or ugly day, it can't be beaten. I'm quite awesome and it is unlikely you'll be up to my standard. Give it a go though if you fancy a challenge.
Manaia: Yeastybeasty
Look, I'm going to be honest. I'm a fading glory. I've seen better days. I've still got good bones but I'm getting a bit jowly, my bingo wings create their own weather patterns and my turkey neck often leads to species confusion. But that doesn't matter because I have plenty of dough. Yep, more bread than I can handle. So if you hook up with me you'll get your share. You'll never go without. Every day will be a good day, even if it's not a good day. Replies in large type only please.
Inglewood: whoslaughingnow
I'm not looking to get it on with any Taranaki towns. I'm above that now. I'm better than that, I'm a better class of town, a higher form of being. And, look, it's not just because the property boom forced everyone to move here. They would have moved anyway. No, they really would have! I don't think you're taking me seriously. I think you're thinking right now that I'm not being serious. You're thinking, that town must be joking, that town must be deluded. I'm not deluded. You're deluded. You're a joke. You know what? I can't be beaten on a good day but I'm not even going to let you try. You can just piss off. Don't call, write or email.
Why are you still looking at my profile?
- Taranaki Daily News
Stratford: Romeo4678
Romance isn't my middle name. Don't ask my middle name. Ok, it's Derek. But I've got a silver tongue anyway and I think it's real important to be real good with words when you are romancing. And I'm real good with words. That's because I channel the spirit of Shakespeare, that famous writing fella.
If you don't believe me you can see it four times daily at 10am, 1pm, 3pm and 7pm. It's pretty amazing. I've used Swiss Glockenspiel technology to celebrate English literary greatness. Clever as, eh. In the past I've had flings with Pahiatua, Foxton and a steamy little tangle with Inglewood, just to give you an idea of what works for me. I don't want to write a sonnet about it but everyone reckons there is no beating me on a good day, not that I'm against a bit of slap and tickle.
New Plymouth: WestcoastFabio.
Don't take this the wrong way but it's not like I need someone to share my life with. I'm perfectly happy. In fact I am more than happy. I have happiness to spare, my cup runneth over in a glorious waterfall of joy. Which is why I am here really. I'm so incredibly happy I need to share it with another town. For their sake, not mine. By God, I am just simply fantastic.
Yeah I enjoy long walks on the beach but really, really prefer long walks on a concrete path lined with tasteful wooden benches and vandal-proof lighting and a wondrous community spirit.
I think that is the way of the future and because I am New Plymouth I think you will find I am right. Even for a town of 60,000 I am a big deal. I'm not saying that to skite or be smug. It's just fact. You simply cannot beat me on a good day. That is also a fact.
Genuine responses only.
Opunake: Monorailfan27
Life is one big trip and I am looking for towns to take that trip with me. The more the merrier I say.
I'm a progressive, no point denying that. I mean I have two Four Square shops and I am liberal, I mean, I'm into new ideas. Like, I'm really into new ideas. Basically you can tell me about anything and I will be into it. The latest thing I'm considering is a monorail. After that I will probably go for an artificial milk producing plant, then perhaps I'll build a replica of Mt Fuji.
That would be cool. That would be totally off the hook. That would make me unbeatable on a good day. Come join the ride.
Oakura: Chillin312
You can probably tell from my profile photo I'm hot, so there is no need for me to mention that. I'm into bikinis, board shorts, chardonnay-soaked real estate discussions, late model Volkswagon station wagons and delightfully precocious children. Sometimes people try and take potshots at me because I am so good looking and have wads of cash so if you hang with me you have to be ready for a bit of resentment. I am looking for a small, confident, warm, sexy and slightly clueless East Coast town to share my life with. Ask anyone and they will tell you on good days nothing beats Oakura. Oh, and by life I mean just a night or two.
Hawera: Southernpride1
It's only because I lost a bet with Eltham that I am even here. I'm not looking for anyone to share my life with. I don't need anyone to share my life with. Everything I need I have and since I got that McDonalds I have more than I need. But while I'm here you may as well know about my water tower. It's the biggest in Taranaki, perhaps the biggest in the lower North Island. Sure it's got a slight lean but it's still the biggest in Taranaki. Good, bad or ugly day, it can't be beaten. I'm quite awesome and it is unlikely you'll be up to my standard. Give it a go though if you fancy a challenge.
Manaia: Yeastybeasty
Look, I'm going to be honest. I'm a fading glory. I've seen better days. I've still got good bones but I'm getting a bit jowly, my bingo wings create their own weather patterns and my turkey neck often leads to species confusion. But that doesn't matter because I have plenty of dough. Yep, more bread than I can handle. So if you hook up with me you'll get your share. You'll never go without. Every day will be a good day, even if it's not a good day. Replies in large type only please.
Inglewood: whoslaughingnow
I'm not looking to get it on with any Taranaki towns. I'm above that now. I'm better than that, I'm a better class of town, a higher form of being. And, look, it's not just because the property boom forced everyone to move here. They would have moved anyway. No, they really would have! I don't think you're taking me seriously. I think you're thinking right now that I'm not being serious. You're thinking, that town must be joking, that town must be deluded. I'm not deluded. You're deluded. You're a joke. You know what? I can't be beaten on a good day but I'm not even going to let you try. You can just piss off. Don't call, write or email.
Why are you still looking at my profile?
- Taranaki Daily News
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