Tips for Wedding Planning

Once you have established your budget and your checklist, it's time to make it real! If funds are in place, you can probably make your dream come true with six months' lead time, possibly less (and possibly more, depending on the complexity of your affair). Below, tips for the planning. If you are not your own wedding planner, may this advice empower you to keep your wedding planner on track and working in your best interests.

Envision
Meditate on the style and overall tone and energy you want for your day. High formality? Offbeat elegance? Casual chic?

Play Dress-up!
If you are going to have a bridal party, give your hoped-for attendants plenty of advance notice, laying out your expectations of them, so that they will have ample time and information to think it over before they commit. And don't assume that just because you ask they will -- or should -- say yes.

Next, the guest list. How large a guest list are you comfortable with? Two hundred? Fifty? Whatever your number, list all the couples and then all the singles, adding "+1" because no one wants to attend a wedding alone. (For heaven's sake, if you really want your single friends to come, allow them to bring a guest!) If you choose to include children in your celebration, make special plans for them. Have a separate child-friendly menu and special entertainment, possibly in another room. Make it so that the kids can be kids.

Location, Location, Location!
The Where often determines the When. The ballroom you have in mind may be booked on your first-choice wedding date -- or perhaps it is available but the church you desire is not. It's important to secure your location as soon as possible to increase the likelihood of having your celebration on your first- or second-choice day.

Yes, You Can but . . . May You?
Find out if any element of your wedding requires a permit. And don't forget that marriage license! Most states no longer require a blood test, and a license can usually be obtained in one to three days. Keep in mind that some marriage licenses will expire if not filed within thirty days. So be sure to read all the fine print.

Book Your Vendors
Contract with all the individuals and establishments you need to make everything on your checklist happen, from caterer, florist, and DJ to photographer and make-up artist. Do not dawdle. To secure top talent, you may need to book the person six months or more in advance. Remember, never, ever sacrifice quality for quantity. If necessary, scale back the scope of your wedding to get the best professionals your pocketbook will allow.

Organize It
Purchase a three-ring binder with indexable dividers, a pack (or two) of three-hole paper, and a pack (or two) of sheet protectors. Devote one section to each component of your wedding, from "Bridal Attire," "Ceremony," "Reception," and "Stationery" on and on to "Et Cetera, Et Cetera" and "Budget."

Use the lined paper in each section to log all communications, decisions, and transactions on items.

Use sheet protectors for the following:
• Clippings and photographs of elements you'd like incorporated in your gown (the neckline of one couture gown; the bell sleeves of another, for example), your wedding cake, the reception space, and other aspects of the celebration.
• Correspondence, estimates, invoices, and other vendor-related paperwork. Having a paper trail on everything is a must!

Budget Check
Every time you make a decision, reconcile your budget.

Make That Call to Attend!
The standard mail date for invitations is at least six weeks before the wedding. For save-the-date cards, at least six months.

Make Your Gift Wish List
If you are comfortable having a gift registry, plan on giving it a full day, as it is very time-consuming. Fortunately, many retailers now offer scanners so you can easily select items for your registry. However, you must still comb each department to personally select your preferences. Also, most retailers offer a limited online registry. But please do not insert gift registry instructions inside your wedding invitations. I believe that your guests should still have the freedom to buy you whatever they would like for your wedding. I always keep wedding registry information on hand for my clients, and most guests will call and ask. The only exception is when you are asking guests not to bring a gift. And for heaven's sake, don't even think about asking for monetary gifts . . . poor taste!

Reprinted from Weddings Valentine Style: Rich Inspiration for Every Woman's Dream Day by Diann Valentine with Tonya Bolden. Copyright © 2006 Diann Valentine. Published by Atria Books; February 2006;$39.95US/$54.95CAN; 074349747-3

Tips for Wedding Planning

Once you have established your budget and your checklist, it's time to make it real! If funds are in place, you can probably make your dream come true with six months' lead time, possibly less (and possibly more, depending on the complexity of your affair). Below, tips for the planning. If you are not your own wedding planner, may this advice empower you to keep your wedding planner on track and working in your best interests.

Envision
Meditate on the style and overall tone and energy you want for your day. High formality? Offbeat elegance? Casual chic?

Play Dress-up!
If you are going to have a bridal party, give your hoped-for attendants plenty of advance notice, laying out your expectations of them, so that they will have ample time and information to think it over before they commit. And don't assume that just because you ask they will -- or should -- say yes.

Next, the guest list. How large a guest list are you comfortable with? Two hundred? Fifty? Whatever your number, list all the couples and then all the singles, adding "+1" because no one wants to attend a wedding alone. (For heaven's sake, if you really want your single friends to come, allow them to bring a guest!) If you choose to include children in your celebration, make special plans for them. Have a separate child-friendly menu and special entertainment, possibly in another room. Make it so that the kids can be kids.

Location, Location, Location!
The Where often determines the When. The ballroom you have in mind may be booked on your first-choice wedding date -- or perhaps it is available but the church you desire is not. It's important to secure your location as soon as possible to increase the likelihood of having your celebration on your first- or second-choice day.

Yes, You Can but . . . May You?
Find out if any element of your wedding requires a permit. And don't forget that marriage license! Most states no longer require a blood test, and a license can usually be obtained in one to three days. Keep in mind that some marriage licenses will expire if not filed within thirty days. So be sure to read all the fine print.

Book Your Vendors
Contract with all the individuals and establishments you need to make everything on your checklist happen, from caterer, florist, and DJ to photographer and make-up artist. Do not dawdle. To secure top talent, you may need to book the person six months or more in advance. Remember, never, ever sacrifice quality for quantity. If necessary, scale back the scope of your wedding to get the best professionals your pocketbook will allow.

Organize It
Purchase a three-ring binder with indexable dividers, a pack (or two) of three-hole paper, and a pack (or two) of sheet protectors. Devote one section to each component of your wedding, from "Bridal Attire," "Ceremony," "Reception," and "Stationery" on and on to "Et Cetera, Et Cetera" and "Budget."

Use the lined paper in each section to log all communications, decisions, and transactions on items.

Use sheet protectors for the following:
• Clippings and photographs of elements you'd like incorporated in your gown (the neckline of one couture gown; the bell sleeves of another, for example), your wedding cake, the reception space, and other aspects of the celebration.
• Correspondence, estimates, invoices, and other vendor-related paperwork. Having a paper trail on everything is a must!

Budget Check
Every time you make a decision, reconcile your budget.

Make That Call to Attend!
The standard mail date for invitations is at least six weeks before the wedding. For save-the-date cards, at least six months.

Make Your Gift Wish List
If you are comfortable having a gift registry, plan on giving it a full day, as it is very time-consuming. Fortunately, many retailers now offer scanners so you can easily select items for your registry. However, you must still comb each department to personally select your preferences. Also, most retailers offer a limited online registry. But please do not insert gift registry instructions inside your wedding invitations. I believe that your guests should still have the freedom to buy you whatever they would like for your wedding. I always keep wedding registry information on hand for my clients, and most guests will call and ask. The only exception is when you are asking guests not to bring a gift. And for heaven's sake, don't even think about asking for monetary gifts . . . poor taste!

Reprinted from Weddings Valentine Style: Rich Inspiration for Every Woman's Dream Day by Diann Valentine with Tonya Bolden. Copyright © 2006 Diann Valentine. Published by Atria Books; February 2006;$39.95US/$54.95CAN; 074349747-3

Tips for Wedding Planning

Once you have established your budget and your checklist, it's time to make it real! If funds are in place, you can probably make your dream come true with six months' lead time, possibly less (and possibly more, depending on the complexity of your affair). Below, tips for the planning. If you are not your own wedding planner, may this advice empower you to keep your wedding planner on track and working in your best interests.

Envision
Meditate on the style and overall tone and energy you want for your day. High formality? Offbeat elegance? Casual chic?

Play Dress-up!
If you are going to have a bridal party, give your hoped-for attendants plenty of advance notice, laying out your expectations of them, so that they will have ample time and information to think it over before they commit. And don't assume that just because you ask they will -- or should -- say yes.

Next, the guest list. How large a guest list are you comfortable with? Two hundred? Fifty? Whatever your number, list all the couples and then all the singles, adding "+1" because no one wants to attend a wedding alone. (For heaven's sake, if you really want your single friends to come, allow them to bring a guest!) If you choose to include children in your celebration, make special plans for them. Have a separate child-friendly menu and special entertainment, possibly in another room. Make it so that the kids can be kids.

Location, Location, Location!
The Where often determines the When. The ballroom you have in mind may be booked on your first-choice wedding date -- or perhaps it is available but the church you desire is not. It's important to secure your location as soon as possible to increase the likelihood of having your celebration on your first- or second-choice day.

Yes, You Can but . . . May You?
Find out if any element of your wedding requires a permit. And don't forget that marriage license! Most states no longer require a blood test, and a license can usually be obtained in one to three days. Keep in mind that some marriage licenses will expire if not filed within thirty days. So be sure to read all the fine print.

Book Your Vendors
Contract with all the individuals and establishments you need to make everything on your checklist happen, from caterer, florist, and DJ to photographer and make-up artist. Do not dawdle. To secure top talent, you may need to book the person six months or more in advance. Remember, never, ever sacrifice quality for quantity. If necessary, scale back the scope of your wedding to get the best professionals your pocketbook will allow.

Organize It
Purchase a three-ring binder with indexable dividers, a pack (or two) of three-hole paper, and a pack (or two) of sheet protectors. Devote one section to each component of your wedding, from "Bridal Attire," "Ceremony," "Reception," and "Stationery" on and on to "Et Cetera, Et Cetera" and "Budget."

Use the lined paper in each section to log all communications, decisions, and transactions on items.

Use sheet protectors for the following:
• Clippings and photographs of elements you'd like incorporated in your gown (the neckline of one couture gown; the bell sleeves of another, for example), your wedding cake, the reception space, and other aspects of the celebration.
• Correspondence, estimates, invoices, and other vendor-related paperwork. Having a paper trail on everything is a must!

Budget Check
Every time you make a decision, reconcile your budget.

Make That Call to Attend!
The standard mail date for invitations is at least six weeks before the wedding. For save-the-date cards, at least six months.

Make Your Gift Wish List
If you are comfortable having a gift registry, plan on giving it a full day, as it is very time-consuming. Fortunately, many retailers now offer scanners so you can easily select items for your registry. However, you must still comb each department to personally select your preferences. Also, most retailers offer a limited online registry. But please do not insert gift registry instructions inside your wedding invitations. I believe that your guests should still have the freedom to buy you whatever they would like for your wedding. I always keep wedding registry information on hand for my clients, and most guests will call and ask. The only exception is when you are asking guests not to bring a gift. And for heaven's sake, don't even think about asking for monetary gifts . . . poor taste!

Reprinted from Weddings Valentine Style: Rich Inspiration for Every Woman's Dream Day by Diann Valentine with Tonya Bolden. Copyright © 2006 Diann Valentine. Published by Atria Books; February 2006;$39.95US/$54.95CAN; 074349747-3

Tips for Wedding Planning

Once you have established your budget and your checklist, it's time to make it real! If funds are in place, you can probably make your dream come true with six months' lead time, possibly less (and possibly more, depending on the complexity of your affair). Below, tips for the planning. If you are not your own wedding planner, may this advice empower you to keep your wedding planner on track and working in your best interests.

Envision
Meditate on the style and overall tone and energy you want for your day. High formality? Offbeat elegance? Casual chic?

Play Dress-up!
If you are going to have a bridal party, give your hoped-for attendants plenty of advance notice, laying out your expectations of them, so that they will have ample time and information to think it over before they commit. And don't assume that just because you ask they will -- or should -- say yes.

Next, the guest list. How large a guest list are you comfortable with? Two hundred? Fifty? Whatever your number, list all the couples and then all the singles, adding "+1" because no one wants to attend a wedding alone. (For heaven's sake, if you really want your single friends to come, allow them to bring a guest!) If you choose to include children in your celebration, make special plans for them. Have a separate child-friendly menu and special entertainment, possibly in another room. Make it so that the kids can be kids.

Location, Location, Location!
The Where often determines the When. The ballroom you have in mind may be booked on your first-choice wedding date -- or perhaps it is available but the church you desire is not. It's important to secure your location as soon as possible to increase the likelihood of having your celebration on your first- or second-choice day.

Yes, You Can but . . . May You?
Find out if any element of your wedding requires a permit. And don't forget that marriage license! Most states no longer require a blood test, and a license can usually be obtained in one to three days. Keep in mind that some marriage licenses will expire if not filed within thirty days. So be sure to read all the fine print.

Book Your Vendors
Contract with all the individuals and establishments you need to make everything on your checklist happen, from caterer, florist, and DJ to photographer and make-up artist. Do not dawdle. To secure top talent, you may need to book the person six months or more in advance. Remember, never, ever sacrifice quality for quantity. If necessary, scale back the scope of your wedding to get the best professionals your pocketbook will allow.

Organize It
Purchase a three-ring binder with indexable dividers, a pack (or two) of three-hole paper, and a pack (or two) of sheet protectors. Devote one section to each component of your wedding, from "Bridal Attire," "Ceremony," "Reception," and "Stationery" on and on to "Et Cetera, Et Cetera" and "Budget."

Use the lined paper in each section to log all communications, decisions, and transactions on items.

Use sheet protectors for the following:
• Clippings and photographs of elements you'd like incorporated in your gown (the neckline of one couture gown; the bell sleeves of another, for example), your wedding cake, the reception space, and other aspects of the celebration.
• Correspondence, estimates, invoices, and other vendor-related paperwork. Having a paper trail on everything is a must!

Budget Check
Every time you make a decision, reconcile your budget.

Make That Call to Attend!
The standard mail date for invitations is at least six weeks before the wedding. For save-the-date cards, at least six months.

Make Your Gift Wish List
If you are comfortable having a gift registry, plan on giving it a full day, as it is very time-consuming. Fortunately, many retailers now offer scanners so you can easily select items for your registry. However, you must still comb each department to personally select your preferences. Also, most retailers offer a limited online registry. But please do not insert gift registry instructions inside your wedding invitations. I believe that your guests should still have the freedom to buy you whatever they would like for your wedding. I always keep wedding registry information on hand for my clients, and most guests will call and ask. The only exception is when you are asking guests not to bring a gift. And for heaven's sake, don't even think about asking for monetary gifts . . . poor taste!

Reprinted from Weddings Valentine Style: Rich Inspiration for Every Woman's Dream Day by Diann Valentine with Tonya Bolden. Copyright © 2006 Diann Valentine. Published by Atria Books; February 2006;$39.95US/$54.95CAN; 074349747-3

Writing Your Wedding Vows the Way Poets Do

By Chris Simeral, creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit

Let's face it, not many of us have the kind of skills or experience to write truly poetic wedding vows. Or do we? Here's the truth: Even if you don't know Dylan Thomas from Bob Dylan, and you're pretty sure T.S. Elliot was that guy who wrote the words to Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats," all is not lost! In fact, there are ways to learn to write the words you want. With four simple steps, you can take what you feel in your heart and make it come out as sweetly as any Shakespearian sonnet.

Step 1: Decide on a theme
Finding a theme should arguably be the easiest part of writing poetry for your wedding vows. But you don't want to be stuck with something trite or cliché, even though the theme of romantic love is probably the oldest known for poetry. There are lots of ways to avoid writing the same old "roses are red, violets are blue" type of poem. One trick the pros use is to envision what a newspaper article about your relationship would say. Would it discuss how and where you met? How your relationship has stayed strong, even during the hard times? What your love has meant to one another? Since newspaper articles get right to the point, this exercise can help you pick out an overriding theme for your vows.

Step 2: Allow time for reverie
No, not "revelry" (hopefully that will be what your wedding day is all about), but reverie - a quiet time devoted to a kind of dreamy meditation. Try some tricks for allowing yourself time to truly think about your poem - and not just those things that allow you to "act like a poet." Go for a walk alone, listen to instrumental music, or simply shut the door to a room in your house and ask not to be disturbed. The most important thing to remember with any of these methods is that you don't let other people interrupt your time.

Step 3: Choose your topic
Theme, as discussed above, is the driving idea behind your poem. The topic, however, is the specific vehicle you use to express the theme. While finding the theme should be the easiest part of writing a poem for your wedding, finding a topic that isn't hackneyed and trite can be a challenge. For instance, love is your theme, but the beauty of your betrothed's eyes may be the topic. You are using the example of her eyes as the symbol for your love. The key is to find something new. There's something that makes your chosen one special, be it appearance, wit, or style. That's the topic you want to choose. Poets use tools like automatic writing, journals, or "dream work" to come up with topics for their prose. (These tools are all discussed in detail in the home-study course I put together for couples personalizing their wedding vows – visit http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com for more info.) But anything that allows you to spark your creativity can suffice if you're short on time.

Step 4: Pick Your Style
As many different poems as there are, there are almost an equal number of styles in which they are written. There are traditional forms, modern, post modern, and many more. You can work on fitting your rough draft poem into one of these many forms, or you can go with no form at all. The benefit of working on an art form is that there are no hard and fast rules on what the end product must look like. Perhaps you'd like to try your hand at penning your vows in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. Or, to go a completely different route, maybe "experimental" is right up your alley. No matter what you choose, just make sure it fits your style. After all, personalizing your wedding vows means just that – they should be personal, not forced to fit into a style that just isn't "you."

Writing Your Wedding Vows the Way Poets Do

By Chris Simeral, creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit

Let's face it, not many of us have the kind of skills or experience to write truly poetic wedding vows. Or do we? Here's the truth: Even if you don't know Dylan Thomas from Bob Dylan, and you're pretty sure T.S. Elliot was that guy who wrote the words to Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats," all is not lost! In fact, there are ways to learn to write the words you want. With four simple steps, you can take what you feel in your heart and make it come out as sweetly as any Shakespearian sonnet.

Step 1: Decide on a theme
Finding a theme should arguably be the easiest part of writing poetry for your wedding vows. But you don't want to be stuck with something trite or cliché, even though the theme of romantic love is probably the oldest known for poetry. There are lots of ways to avoid writing the same old "roses are red, violets are blue" type of poem. One trick the pros use is to envision what a newspaper article about your relationship would say. Would it discuss how and where you met? How your relationship has stayed strong, even during the hard times? What your love has meant to one another? Since newspaper articles get right to the point, this exercise can help you pick out an overriding theme for your vows.

Step 2: Allow time for reverie
No, not "revelry" (hopefully that will be what your wedding day is all about), but reverie - a quiet time devoted to a kind of dreamy meditation. Try some tricks for allowing yourself time to truly think about your poem - and not just those things that allow you to "act like a poet." Go for a walk alone, listen to instrumental music, or simply shut the door to a room in your house and ask not to be disturbed. The most important thing to remember with any of these methods is that you don't let other people interrupt your time.

Step 3: Choose your topic
Theme, as discussed above, is the driving idea behind your poem. The topic, however, is the specific vehicle you use to express the theme. While finding the theme should be the easiest part of writing a poem for your wedding, finding a topic that isn't hackneyed and trite can be a challenge. For instance, love is your theme, but the beauty of your betrothed's eyes may be the topic. You are using the example of her eyes as the symbol for your love. The key is to find something new. There's something that makes your chosen one special, be it appearance, wit, or style. That's the topic you want to choose. Poets use tools like automatic writing, journals, or "dream work" to come up with topics for their prose. (These tools are all discussed in detail in the home-study course I put together for couples personalizing their wedding vows – visit http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com for more info.) But anything that allows you to spark your creativity can suffice if you're short on time.

Step 4: Pick Your Style
As many different poems as there are, there are almost an equal number of styles in which they are written. There are traditional forms, modern, post modern, and many more. You can work on fitting your rough draft poem into one of these many forms, or you can go with no form at all. The benefit of working on an art form is that there are no hard and fast rules on what the end product must look like. Perhaps you'd like to try your hand at penning your vows in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. Or, to go a completely different route, maybe "experimental" is right up your alley. No matter what you choose, just make sure it fits your style. After all, personalizing your wedding vows means just that – they should be personal, not forced to fit into a style that just isn't "you."

Writing Your Wedding Vows the Way Poets Do

By Chris Simeral, creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit

Let's face it, not many of us have the kind of skills or experience to write truly poetic wedding vows. Or do we? Here's the truth: Even if you don't know Dylan Thomas from Bob Dylan, and you're pretty sure T.S. Elliot was that guy who wrote the words to Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats," all is not lost! In fact, there are ways to learn to write the words you want. With four simple steps, you can take what you feel in your heart and make it come out as sweetly as any Shakespearian sonnet.

Step 1: Decide on a theme
Finding a theme should arguably be the easiest part of writing poetry for your wedding vows. But you don't want to be stuck with something trite or cliché, even though the theme of romantic love is probably the oldest known for poetry. There are lots of ways to avoid writing the same old "roses are red, violets are blue" type of poem. One trick the pros use is to envision what a newspaper article about your relationship would say. Would it discuss how and where you met? How your relationship has stayed strong, even during the hard times? What your love has meant to one another? Since newspaper articles get right to the point, this exercise can help you pick out an overriding theme for your vows.

Step 2: Allow time for reverie
No, not "revelry" (hopefully that will be what your wedding day is all about), but reverie - a quiet time devoted to a kind of dreamy meditation. Try some tricks for allowing yourself time to truly think about your poem - and not just those things that allow you to "act like a poet." Go for a walk alone, listen to instrumental music, or simply shut the door to a room in your house and ask not to be disturbed. The most important thing to remember with any of these methods is that you don't let other people interrupt your time.

Step 3: Choose your topic
Theme, as discussed above, is the driving idea behind your poem. The topic, however, is the specific vehicle you use to express the theme. While finding the theme should be the easiest part of writing a poem for your wedding, finding a topic that isn't hackneyed and trite can be a challenge. For instance, love is your theme, but the beauty of your betrothed's eyes may be the topic. You are using the example of her eyes as the symbol for your love. The key is to find something new. There's something that makes your chosen one special, be it appearance, wit, or style. That's the topic you want to choose. Poets use tools like automatic writing, journals, or "dream work" to come up with topics for their prose. (These tools are all discussed in detail in the home-study course I put together for couples personalizing their wedding vows – visit http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com for more info.) But anything that allows you to spark your creativity can suffice if you're short on time.

Step 4: Pick Your Style
As many different poems as there are, there are almost an equal number of styles in which they are written. There are traditional forms, modern, post modern, and many more. You can work on fitting your rough draft poem into one of these many forms, or you can go with no form at all. The benefit of working on an art form is that there are no hard and fast rules on what the end product must look like. Perhaps you'd like to try your hand at penning your vows in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. Or, to go a completely different route, maybe "experimental" is right up your alley. No matter what you choose, just make sure it fits your style. After all, personalizing your wedding vows means just that – they should be personal, not forced to fit into a style that just isn't "you."

Writing Your Wedding Vows the Way Poets Do

By Chris Simeral, creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit

Let's face it, not many of us have the kind of skills or experience to write truly poetic wedding vows. Or do we? Here's the truth: Even if you don't know Dylan Thomas from Bob Dylan, and you're pretty sure T.S. Elliot was that guy who wrote the words to Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats," all is not lost! In fact, there are ways to learn to write the words you want. With four simple steps, you can take what you feel in your heart and make it come out as sweetly as any Shakespearian sonnet.

Step 1: Decide on a theme
Finding a theme should arguably be the easiest part of writing poetry for your wedding vows. But you don't want to be stuck with something trite or cliché, even though the theme of romantic love is probably the oldest known for poetry. There are lots of ways to avoid writing the same old "roses are red, violets are blue" type of poem. One trick the pros use is to envision what a newspaper article about your relationship would say. Would it discuss how and where you met? How your relationship has stayed strong, even during the hard times? What your love has meant to one another? Since newspaper articles get right to the point, this exercise can help you pick out an overriding theme for your vows.

Step 2: Allow time for reverie
No, not "revelry" (hopefully that will be what your wedding day is all about), but reverie - a quiet time devoted to a kind of dreamy meditation. Try some tricks for allowing yourself time to truly think about your poem - and not just those things that allow you to "act like a poet." Go for a walk alone, listen to instrumental music, or simply shut the door to a room in your house and ask not to be disturbed. The most important thing to remember with any of these methods is that you don't let other people interrupt your time.

Step 3: Choose your topic
Theme, as discussed above, is the driving idea behind your poem. The topic, however, is the specific vehicle you use to express the theme. While finding the theme should be the easiest part of writing a poem for your wedding, finding a topic that isn't hackneyed and trite can be a challenge. For instance, love is your theme, but the beauty of your betrothed's eyes may be the topic. You are using the example of her eyes as the symbol for your love. The key is to find something new. There's something that makes your chosen one special, be it appearance, wit, or style. That's the topic you want to choose. Poets use tools like automatic writing, journals, or "dream work" to come up with topics for their prose. (These tools are all discussed in detail in the home-study course I put together for couples personalizing their wedding vows – visit http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com for more info.) But anything that allows you to spark your creativity can suffice if you're short on time.

Step 4: Pick Your Style
As many different poems as there are, there are almost an equal number of styles in which they are written. There are traditional forms, modern, post modern, and many more. You can work on fitting your rough draft poem into one of these many forms, or you can go with no form at all. The benefit of working on an art form is that there are no hard and fast rules on what the end product must look like. Perhaps you'd like to try your hand at penning your vows in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. Or, to go a completely different route, maybe "experimental" is right up your alley. No matter what you choose, just make sure it fits your style. After all, personalizing your wedding vows means just that – they should be personal, not forced to fit into a style that just isn't "you."

WORKING WITH CATERERS

Using the services of a caterer is a convenient way to handle the food needs for your reception. If you are holding your reception at a hotel or full-service event center, the catering service will be provided and you will have to use their services. If you are holding your reception at a venue that doesn't have on-site catering, you can choose the caterer of your choice.

Caterers can provide everything from appetizers to a full sit-down meal. Some caterers specialize in a certain type of food, such as Mexican, Mediterranean, or vegetarian. Therefore, you may want to talk with two or three caterers and be sure that you like their style before hiring one.

You should decide on the menu as early as possible. Find out if the place where your reception will be held has an adequate kitchen for the caterer's use. The kitchen should have a large refrigerator, plenty of counter space, and an ice machine. If there is no kitchen, you may need to choose foods that can be prepared in advance and served cold, or hire a caterer who has a mobile grill. Most caterers will bring hot food in a special insulated container, but they still need space to unpack the food and transfer it to serving containers. You may need to provide serving tables for the caterer's use as well.

Ask to taste samples of the foods that you are considering serving. Not all caterers will do this for you, and those that also own a restaurant may require you to purchase a meal. If possible, attend an event where the caterers are serving and, in addition to tasting the food, observe the employees' demeanor and the table set-up. Is everything clean and neat? Are the servers friendly and helpful? Are they noisy? How are they dressed and is it appropriate? Are there enough servers? Generally, there should be one server for every 30 guests when a buffet is served and one server for every 20 guests when a sit-down dinner is served.

Depending on the food that you order, you may be charged by the person, by the dozen, or by the tray. You will need to provide the caterer with an accurate guest count at least a week before the wedding. Find out if tax and gratuity are included in the price that you are quoted, or if it is extra. Also, find out the amount of deposit required and whether it is refundable. Most caterers charge an initial deposit to hold the date, then an additional percentage of the total cost to cover the cost of purchasing the food. This payment may be due closer to the wedding date. You may not be billed for the remaining balance until the wedding day.

Ask what serving dishes the caterers provide. Most will have all the needed serving dishes and utensils. If they don't, you may be asked to pay for the rental of the items. Ask if the place settings normally used are paper and plastic or real china and silverware. This will be important if the reception is formal or semi-formal. There will probably be an extra charge for the use of china and silver, since many caterers will have to rent them. Most caterers provide paper plates, cups, and napkins at no charge.

If the caterer provides linens, ask to see what they look like and what colors are available. If you are using round tables and you want round table cloths, you may need to specify that, since many caterers carry only square or rectangular cloths, which do not work well on round tables, nor do they look as nice. If you aren't happy with the available choices, contact a rental center. Some caterers will also provide the serving tables (generally 6' or 8' banquet tables); others do not. If they don't, they may be able to rent them at a discount. Most caterers do not stock glasses for punch or wine and they may not stock soup bowls or soup spoons. You will need to rent glasses or purchase plastic ones.

Ask how many employees will be assigned to the reception, how long they will serve, and how they will be dressed. Find out how many electrical outlets may be needed and if any other special items may be required. Also, find out who does clean-up, including dishes, and how the left-overs are handled, including the cake. If the reception center has an in-house caterer, they will keep the buffet table stocked from their kitchen with food that is additional to what you actually pay for. In this case, you will not be entitled to left-overs, except your cake. If the caterer is coming to a location that you specify, however, you will have paid for all the food that they bring. Health department regulations state that left-over food containing fish, dairy products, and eggs must be thrown away after a certain period of time, since it has been sitting at room temperature and could cause health problems. You may be able to take items such as raw vegetables and pasta salads home, however.

Be aware that if you want the caterer to serve the wedding cake and they are not providing the cake, you may be charged a fee for an employee's time and for washing dishes if you don't use disposables. Most caterers will not provide a cake knife and server, forks, or plates if they didn't provide the cake.

If you plan to have the caterer serve alcohol, they will need to have a liquor license or access to one. If they don't have one, they can subcontract the alcohol service to another company. Because of state laws and insurance restrictions, if you hire a caterer who has a liquor license, they must purchase and serve the alcohol. You will probably not be allowed to provide your own. To allow you to do so can void their insurance coverage and, should problems occur, they could be held legally liable for a situation that they had no control over. If the caterer does not have a liquor license and you choose to purchase and serve your own alcohol, in most states the caterer is legally unable to secure a bartender for you, so you must hire one yourself. If the caterer agrees to provide one for you and they do not have a liquor license, be aware that they are violating the law. The caterer may, however, refer you to individuals who tend bar, then you must hire and pay the person yourself

If food is left over at the end of the evening, you might ask the caterer to prepare a picnic basket for you to take to your hotel suite when you leave the reception. You will appreciate a snack of cheese, crackers, fruit and other non-perishable items at the end of a long day.

Beware of hiring a caterer who insists that they must provide your tables, chairs, and linens and/or serve your cake, even if your facility provides those items or you have already secured them from another source (such as a rental center or a decorator). The caterer may charge you a premium for such items. The caterer is your employee for your special day and if they refuse to do things your way, hire someone else who is more cooperative. Your time is too valuable to spend it dealing with someone who insists on having their way at your expense.

Hiring a caterer can take a great deal of stress from you and your family if you choose one who is cooperative and willing to do things the way that you want them to be done.

Who Pays the Costs of Weddings Today?

You are engaged and you are beginning your wedding planning, but first you need to know how much money you have to spend and where it will come from. Don't assume that the bride's parents will finance the wedding of your dreams. Today, that rarely happens.

Today, there is much less adherence to any “traditional” division of costs than has been the rule in past generations when the bride's parents paid for most of the wedding costs. One positive result of the loosening etiquette rules is that wedding costs are often divided with much more common sense and practicality than in the past. With couples marrying later in life, the greater frequency of second marriages, and higher incomes for some couples, it makes good sense in many cases for wedding costs to be shared by the couple themselves and by both sets of parents.

This common sense approach is spreading nationally. An article in the July 23, 2003 issue of the Christian Science Monitor lists the results of a survey conducted by the Association of Bridal Consultants. According to survey findings, only about 20% of weddings are still paid for entirely by the parents of the bride. About 53% are jointly financed by both sets of parents and the bride and groom (though not necessarily in equal amounts). About 27% of weddings are financed entirely by the bride and groom without parental assistance.

Weddings that are still financed primarily by the bride's parents most often occur in highly traditional areas, such as the southern U.S., or when the bride is very young or still in college. One good thing about sharing the costs is that the groom's family feels more included in the wedding planning than they did in past generations, when they were primarily guests with little or no involvement before the wedding day.

Each couple has to think through their own situation and discuss matters with their families to determine what is most practical and reasonable in their particular case. If either set of parents wants to help with the wedding costs, they will volunteer. If they don't, you are on your own. If parents want to help, they might give the couple a sum of money to be spent as the couple needs, or they might pay for certain items. One family might offer to pay for the photography while the other family pays for catering, etc.

If parents are helping with the costs of individual services, then they should be consulted about decisions that affect the costs. For instance, if the parents are planning to spend $500 for flowers, but the bride desires roses for every centerpiece, the parents need to be informed of the cost, then they should make the final decision about how much they are willing to spend. The bride will then either need to respect their decision or pay any additional costs herself.

Today's more relaxed attitude toward financing a wedding puts less financial burden on the bride's family. However, it can create challenges for the couple as they learn to give and take with both families and with each other as they make decisions. With compromise, you can create a wedding that makes both families feel included and that will create lasting memories for everyone involved.

WORKING WITH CATERERS

Using the services of a caterer is a convenient way to handle the food needs for your reception. If you are holding your reception at a hotel or full-service event center, the catering service will be provided and you will have to use their services. If you are holding your reception at a venue that doesn't have on-site catering, you can choose the caterer of your choice.

Caterers can provide everything from appetizers to a full sit-down meal. Some caterers specialize in a certain type of food, such as Mexican, Mediterranean, or vegetarian. Therefore, you may want to talk with two or three caterers and be sure that you like their style before hiring one.

You should decide on the menu as early as possible. Find out if the place where your reception will be held has an adequate kitchen for the caterer's use. The kitchen should have a large refrigerator, plenty of counter space, and an ice machine. If there is no kitchen, you may need to choose foods that can be prepared in advance and served cold, or hire a caterer who has a mobile grill. Most caterers will bring hot food in a special insulated container, but they still need space to unpack the food and transfer it to serving containers. You may need to provide serving tables for the caterer's use as well.

Ask to taste samples of the foods that you are considering serving. Not all caterers will do this for you, and those that also own a restaurant may require you to purchase a meal. If possible, attend an event where the caterers are serving and, in addition to tasting the food, observe the employees' demeanor and the table set-up. Is everything clean and neat? Are the servers friendly and helpful? Are they noisy? How are they dressed and is it appropriate? Are there enough servers? Generally, there should be one server for every 30 guests when a buffet is served and one server for every 20 guests when a sit-down dinner is served.

Depending on the food that you order, you may be charged by the person, by the dozen, or by the tray. You will need to provide the caterer with an accurate guest count at least a week before the wedding. Find out if tax and gratuity are included in the price that you are quoted, or if it is extra. Also, find out the amount of deposit required and whether it is refundable. Most caterers charge an initial deposit to hold the date, then an additional percentage of the total cost to cover the cost of purchasing the food. This payment may be due closer to the wedding date. You may not be billed for the remaining balance until the wedding day.

Ask what serving dishes the caterers provide. Most will have all the needed serving dishes and utensils. If they don't, you may be asked to pay for the rental of the items. Ask if the place settings normally used are paper and plastic or real china and silverware. This will be important if the reception is formal or semi-formal. There will probably be an extra charge for the use of china and silver, since many caterers will have to rent them. Most caterers provide paper plates, cups, and napkins at no charge.

If the caterer provides linens, ask to see what they look like and what colors are available. If you are using round tables and you want round table cloths, you may need to specify that, since many caterers carry only square or rectangular cloths, which do not work well on round tables, nor do they look as nice. If you aren't happy with the available choices, contact a rental center. Some caterers will also provide the serving tables (generally 6' or 8' banquet tables); others do not. If they don't, they may be able to rent them at a discount. Most caterers do not stock glasses for punch or wine and they may not stock soup bowls or soup spoons. You will need to rent glasses or purchase plastic ones.

Ask how many employees will be assigned to the reception, how long they will serve, and how they will be dressed. Find out how many electrical outlets may be needed and if any other special items may be required. Also, find out who does clean-up, including dishes, and how the left-overs are handled, including the cake. If the reception center has an in-house caterer, they will keep the buffet table stocked from their kitchen with food that is additional to what you actually pay for. In this case, you will not be entitled to left-overs, except your cake. If the caterer is coming to a location that you specify, however, you will have paid for all the food that they bring. Health department regulations state that left-over food containing fish, dairy products, and eggs must be thrown away after a certain period of time, since it has been sitting at room temperature and could cause health problems. You may be able to take items such as raw vegetables and pasta salads home, however.

Be aware that if you want the caterer to serve the wedding cake and they are not providing the cake, you may be charged a fee for an employee's time and for washing dishes if you don't use disposables. Most caterers will not provide a cake knife and server, forks, or plates if they didn't provide the cake.

If you plan to have the caterer serve alcohol, they will need to have a liquor license or access to one. If they don't have one, they can subcontract the alcohol service to another company. Because of state laws and insurance restrictions, if you hire a caterer who has a liquor license, they must purchase and serve the alcohol. You will probably not be allowed to provide your own. To allow you to do so can void their insurance coverage and, should problems occur, they could be held legally liable for a situation that they had no control over. If the caterer does not have a liquor license and you choose to purchase and serve your own alcohol, in most states the caterer is legally unable to secure a bartender for you, so you must hire one yourself. If the caterer agrees to provide one for you and they do not have a liquor license, be aware that they are violating the law. The caterer may, however, refer you to individuals who tend bar, then you must hire and pay the person yourself

If food is left over at the end of the evening, you might ask the caterer to prepare a picnic basket for you to take to your hotel suite when you leave the reception. You will appreciate a snack of cheese, crackers, fruit and other non-perishable items at the end of a long day.

Beware of hiring a caterer who insists that they must provide your tables, chairs, and linens and/or serve your cake, even if your facility provides those items or you have already secured them from another source (such as a rental center or a decorator). The caterer may charge you a premium for such items. The caterer is your employee for your special day and if they refuse to do things your way, hire someone else who is more cooperative. Your time is too valuable to spend it dealing with someone who insists on having their way at your expense.

Hiring a caterer can take a great deal of stress from you and your family if you choose one who is cooperative and willing to do things the way that you want them to be done.

Who Pays the Costs of Weddings Today?

You are engaged and you are beginning your wedding planning, but first you need to know how much money you have to spend and where it will come from. Don't assume that the bride's parents will finance the wedding of your dreams. Today, that rarely happens.

Today, there is much less adherence to any “traditional” division of costs than has been the rule in past generations when the bride's parents paid for most of the wedding costs. One positive result of the loosening etiquette rules is that wedding costs are often divided with much more common sense and practicality than in the past. With couples marrying later in life, the greater frequency of second marriages, and higher incomes for some couples, it makes good sense in many cases for wedding costs to be shared by the couple themselves and by both sets of parents.

This common sense approach is spreading nationally. An article in the July 23, 2003 issue of the Christian Science Monitor lists the results of a survey conducted by the Association of Bridal Consultants. According to survey findings, only about 20% of weddings are still paid for entirely by the parents of the bride. About 53% are jointly financed by both sets of parents and the bride and groom (though not necessarily in equal amounts). About 27% of weddings are financed entirely by the bride and groom without parental assistance.

Weddings that are still financed primarily by the bride's parents most often occur in highly traditional areas, such as the southern U.S., or when the bride is very young or still in college. One good thing about sharing the costs is that the groom's family feels more included in the wedding planning than they did in past generations, when they were primarily guests with little or no involvement before the wedding day.

Each couple has to think through their own situation and discuss matters with their families to determine what is most practical and reasonable in their particular case. If either set of parents wants to help with the wedding costs, they will volunteer. If they don't, you are on your own. If parents want to help, they might give the couple a sum of money to be spent as the couple needs, or they might pay for certain items. One family might offer to pay for the photography while the other family pays for catering, etc.

If parents are helping with the costs of individual services, then they should be consulted about decisions that affect the costs. For instance, if the parents are planning to spend $500 for flowers, but the bride desires roses for every centerpiece, the parents need to be informed of the cost, then they should make the final decision about how much they are willing to spend. The bride will then either need to respect their decision or pay any additional costs herself.

Today's more relaxed attitude toward financing a wedding puts less financial burden on the bride's family. However, it can create challenges for the couple as they learn to give and take with both families and with each other as they make decisions. With compromise, you can create a wedding that makes both families feel included and that will create lasting memories for everyone involved.

Who Pays the Costs of Weddings Today?

You are engaged and you are beginning your wedding planning, but first you need to know how much money you have to spend and where it will come from. Don't assume that the bride's parents will finance the wedding of your dreams. Today, that rarely happens.

Today, there is much less adherence to any “traditional” division of costs than has been the rule in past generations when the bride's parents paid for most of the wedding costs. One positive result of the loosening etiquette rules is that wedding costs are often divided with much more common sense and practicality than in the past. With couples marrying later in life, the greater frequency of second marriages, and higher incomes for some couples, it makes good sense in many cases for wedding costs to be shared by the couple themselves and by both sets of parents.

This common sense approach is spreading nationally. An article in the July 23, 2003 issue of the Christian Science Monitor lists the results of a survey conducted by the Association of Bridal Consultants. According to survey findings, only about 20% of weddings are still paid for entirely by the parents of the bride. About 53% are jointly financed by both sets of parents and the bride and groom (though not necessarily in equal amounts). About 27% of weddings are financed entirely by the bride and groom without parental assistance.

Weddings that are still financed primarily by the bride's parents most often occur in highly traditional areas, such as the southern U.S., or when the bride is very young or still in college. One good thing about sharing the costs is that the groom's family feels more included in the wedding planning than they did in past generations, when they were primarily guests with little or no involvement before the wedding day.

Each couple has to think through their own situation and discuss matters with their families to determine what is most practical and reasonable in their particular case. If either set of parents wants to help with the wedding costs, they will volunteer. If they don't, you are on your own. If parents want to help, they might give the couple a sum of money to be spent as the couple needs, or they might pay for certain items. One family might offer to pay for the photography while the other family pays for catering, etc.

If parents are helping with the costs of individual services, then they should be consulted about decisions that affect the costs. For instance, if the parents are planning to spend $500 for flowers, but the bride desires roses for every centerpiece, the parents need to be informed of the cost, then they should make the final decision about how much they are willing to spend. The bride will then either need to respect their decision or pay any additional costs herself.

Today's more relaxed attitude toward financing a wedding puts less financial burden on the bride's family. However, it can create challenges for the couple as they learn to give and take with both families and with each other as they make decisions. With compromise, you can create a wedding that makes both families feel included and that will create lasting memories for everyone involved.

WORKING WITH CATERERS

Using the services of a caterer is a convenient way to handle the food needs for your reception. If you are holding your reception at a hotel or full-service event center, the catering service will be provided and you will have to use their services. If you are holding your reception at a venue that doesn't have on-site catering, you can choose the caterer of your choice.

Caterers can provide everything from appetizers to a full sit-down meal. Some caterers specialize in a certain type of food, such as Mexican, Mediterranean, or vegetarian. Therefore, you may want to talk with two or three caterers and be sure that you like their style before hiring one.

You should decide on the menu as early as possible. Find out if the place where your reception will be held has an adequate kitchen for the caterer's use. The kitchen should have a large refrigerator, plenty of counter space, and an ice machine. If there is no kitchen, you may need to choose foods that can be prepared in advance and served cold, or hire a caterer who has a mobile grill. Most caterers will bring hot food in a special insulated container, but they still need space to unpack the food and transfer it to serving containers. You may need to provide serving tables for the caterer's use as well.

Ask to taste samples of the foods that you are considering serving. Not all caterers will do this for you, and those that also own a restaurant may require you to purchase a meal. If possible, attend an event where the caterers are serving and, in addition to tasting the food, observe the employees' demeanor and the table set-up. Is everything clean and neat? Are the servers friendly and helpful? Are they noisy? How are they dressed and is it appropriate? Are there enough servers? Generally, there should be one server for every 30 guests when a buffet is served and one server for every 20 guests when a sit-down dinner is served.

Depending on the food that you order, you may be charged by the person, by the dozen, or by the tray. You will need to provide the caterer with an accurate guest count at least a week before the wedding. Find out if tax and gratuity are included in the price that you are quoted, or if it is extra. Also, find out the amount of deposit required and whether it is refundable. Most caterers charge an initial deposit to hold the date, then an additional percentage of the total cost to cover the cost of purchasing the food. This payment may be due closer to the wedding date. You may not be billed for the remaining balance until the wedding day.

Ask what serving dishes the caterers provide. Most will have all the needed serving dishes and utensils. If they don't, you may be asked to pay for the rental of the items. Ask if the place settings normally used are paper and plastic or real china and silverware. This will be important if the reception is formal or semi-formal. There will probably be an extra charge for the use of china and silver, since many caterers will have to rent them. Most caterers provide paper plates, cups, and napkins at no charge.

If the caterer provides linens, ask to see what they look like and what colors are available. If you are using round tables and you want round table cloths, you may need to specify that, since many caterers carry only square or rectangular cloths, which do not work well on round tables, nor do they look as nice. If you aren't happy with the available choices, contact a rental center. Some caterers will also provide the serving tables (generally 6' or 8' banquet tables); others do not. If they don't, they may be able to rent them at a discount. Most caterers do not stock glasses for punch or wine and they may not stock soup bowls or soup spoons. You will need to rent glasses or purchase plastic ones.

Ask how many employees will be assigned to the reception, how long they will serve, and how they will be dressed. Find out how many electrical outlets may be needed and if any other special items may be required. Also, find out who does clean-up, including dishes, and how the left-overs are handled, including the cake. If the reception center has an in-house caterer, they will keep the buffet table stocked from their kitchen with food that is additional to what you actually pay for. In this case, you will not be entitled to left-overs, except your cake. If the caterer is coming to a location that you specify, however, you will have paid for all the food that they bring. Health department regulations state that left-over food containing fish, dairy products, and eggs must be thrown away after a certain period of time, since it has been sitting at room temperature and could cause health problems. You may be able to take items such as raw vegetables and pasta salads home, however.

Be aware that if you want the caterer to serve the wedding cake and they are not providing the cake, you may be charged a fee for an employee's time and for washing dishes if you don't use disposables. Most caterers will not provide a cake knife and server, forks, or plates if they didn't provide the cake.

If you plan to have the caterer serve alcohol, they will need to have a liquor license or access to one. If they don't have one, they can subcontract the alcohol service to another company. Because of state laws and insurance restrictions, if you hire a caterer who has a liquor license, they must purchase and serve the alcohol. You will probably not be allowed to provide your own. To allow you to do so can void their insurance coverage and, should problems occur, they could be held legally liable for a situation that they had no control over. If the caterer does not have a liquor license and you choose to purchase and serve your own alcohol, in most states the caterer is legally unable to secure a bartender for you, so you must hire one yourself. If the caterer agrees to provide one for you and they do not have a liquor license, be aware that they are violating the law. The caterer may, however, refer you to individuals who tend bar, then you must hire and pay the person yourself

If food is left over at the end of the evening, you might ask the caterer to prepare a picnic basket for you to take to your hotel suite when you leave the reception. You will appreciate a snack of cheese, crackers, fruit and other non-perishable items at the end of a long day.

Beware of hiring a caterer who insists that they must provide your tables, chairs, and linens and/or serve your cake, even if your facility provides those items or you have already secured them from another source (such as a rental center or a decorator). The caterer may charge you a premium for such items. The caterer is your employee for your special day and if they refuse to do things your way, hire someone else who is more cooperative. Your time is too valuable to spend it dealing with someone who insists on having their way at your expense.

Hiring a caterer can take a great deal of stress from you and your family if you choose one who is cooperative and willing to do things the way that you want them to be done.

Who Pays the Costs of Weddings Today?

You are engaged and you are beginning your wedding planning, but first you need to know how much money you have to spend and where it will come from. Don't assume that the bride's parents will finance the wedding of your dreams. Today, that rarely happens.

Today, there is much less adherence to any “traditional” division of costs than has been the rule in past generations when the bride's parents paid for most of the wedding costs. One positive result of the loosening etiquette rules is that wedding costs are often divided with much more common sense and practicality than in the past. With couples marrying later in life, the greater frequency of second marriages, and higher incomes for some couples, it makes good sense in many cases for wedding costs to be shared by the couple themselves and by both sets of parents.

This common sense approach is spreading nationally. An article in the July 23, 2003 issue of the Christian Science Monitor lists the results of a survey conducted by the Association of Bridal Consultants. According to survey findings, only about 20% of weddings are still paid for entirely by the parents of the bride. About 53% are jointly financed by both sets of parents and the bride and groom (though not necessarily in equal amounts). About 27% of weddings are financed entirely by the bride and groom without parental assistance.

Weddings that are still financed primarily by the bride's parents most often occur in highly traditional areas, such as the southern U.S., or when the bride is very young or still in college. One good thing about sharing the costs is that the groom's family feels more included in the wedding planning than they did in past generations, when they were primarily guests with little or no involvement before the wedding day.

Each couple has to think through their own situation and discuss matters with their families to determine what is most practical and reasonable in their particular case. If either set of parents wants to help with the wedding costs, they will volunteer. If they don't, you are on your own. If parents want to help, they might give the couple a sum of money to be spent as the couple needs, or they might pay for certain items. One family might offer to pay for the photography while the other family pays for catering, etc.

If parents are helping with the costs of individual services, then they should be consulted about decisions that affect the costs. For instance, if the parents are planning to spend $500 for flowers, but the bride desires roses for every centerpiece, the parents need to be informed of the cost, then they should make the final decision about how much they are willing to spend. The bride will then either need to respect their decision or pay any additional costs herself.

Today's more relaxed attitude toward financing a wedding puts less financial burden on the bride's family. However, it can create challenges for the couple as they learn to give and take with both families and with each other as they make decisions. With compromise, you can create a wedding that makes both families feel included and that will create lasting memories for everyone involved.

WORKING WITH CATERERS

Using the services of a caterer is a convenient way to handle the food needs for your reception. If you are holding your reception at a hotel or full-service event center, the catering service will be provided and you will have to use their services. If you are holding your reception at a venue that doesn't have on-site catering, you can choose the caterer of your choice.

Caterers can provide everything from appetizers to a full sit-down meal. Some caterers specialize in a certain type of food, such as Mexican, Mediterranean, or vegetarian. Therefore, you may want to talk with two or three caterers and be sure that you like their style before hiring one.

You should decide on the menu as early as possible. Find out if the place where your reception will be held has an adequate kitchen for the caterer's use. The kitchen should have a large refrigerator, plenty of counter space, and an ice machine. If there is no kitchen, you may need to choose foods that can be prepared in advance and served cold, or hire a caterer who has a mobile grill. Most caterers will bring hot food in a special insulated container, but they still need space to unpack the food and transfer it to serving containers. You may need to provide serving tables for the caterer's use as well.

Ask to taste samples of the foods that you are considering serving. Not all caterers will do this for you, and those that also own a restaurant may require you to purchase a meal. If possible, attend an event where the caterers are serving and, in addition to tasting the food, observe the employees' demeanor and the table set-up. Is everything clean and neat? Are the servers friendly and helpful? Are they noisy? How are they dressed and is it appropriate? Are there enough servers? Generally, there should be one server for every 30 guests when a buffet is served and one server for every 20 guests when a sit-down dinner is served.

Depending on the food that you order, you may be charged by the person, by the dozen, or by the tray. You will need to provide the caterer with an accurate guest count at least a week before the wedding. Find out if tax and gratuity are included in the price that you are quoted, or if it is extra. Also, find out the amount of deposit required and whether it is refundable. Most caterers charge an initial deposit to hold the date, then an additional percentage of the total cost to cover the cost of purchasing the food. This payment may be due closer to the wedding date. You may not be billed for the remaining balance until the wedding day.

Ask what serving dishes the caterers provide. Most will have all the needed serving dishes and utensils. If they don't, you may be asked to pay for the rental of the items. Ask if the place settings normally used are paper and plastic or real china and silverware. This will be important if the reception is formal or semi-formal. There will probably be an extra charge for the use of china and silver, since many caterers will have to rent them. Most caterers provide paper plates, cups, and napkins at no charge.

If the caterer provides linens, ask to see what they look like and what colors are available. If you are using round tables and you want round table cloths, you may need to specify that, since many caterers carry only square or rectangular cloths, which do not work well on round tables, nor do they look as nice. If you aren't happy with the available choices, contact a rental center. Some caterers will also provide the serving tables (generally 6' or 8' banquet tables); others do not. If they don't, they may be able to rent them at a discount. Most caterers do not stock glasses for punch or wine and they may not stock soup bowls or soup spoons. You will need to rent glasses or purchase plastic ones.

Ask how many employees will be assigned to the reception, how long they will serve, and how they will be dressed. Find out how many electrical outlets may be needed and if any other special items may be required. Also, find out who does clean-up, including dishes, and how the left-overs are handled, including the cake. If the reception center has an in-house caterer, they will keep the buffet table stocked from their kitchen with food that is additional to what you actually pay for. In this case, you will not be entitled to left-overs, except your cake. If the caterer is coming to a location that you specify, however, you will have paid for all the food that they bring. Health department regulations state that left-over food containing fish, dairy products, and eggs must be thrown away after a certain period of time, since it has been sitting at room temperature and could cause health problems. You may be able to take items such as raw vegetables and pasta salads home, however.

Be aware that if you want the caterer to serve the wedding cake and they are not providing the cake, you may be charged a fee for an employee's time and for washing dishes if you don't use disposables. Most caterers will not provide a cake knife and server, forks, or plates if they didn't provide the cake.

If you plan to have the caterer serve alcohol, they will need to have a liquor license or access to one. If they don't have one, they can subcontract the alcohol service to another company. Because of state laws and insurance restrictions, if you hire a caterer who has a liquor license, they must purchase and serve the alcohol. You will probably not be allowed to provide your own. To allow you to do so can void their insurance coverage and, should problems occur, they could be held legally liable for a situation that they had no control over. If the caterer does not have a liquor license and you choose to purchase and serve your own alcohol, in most states the caterer is legally unable to secure a bartender for you, so you must hire one yourself. If the caterer agrees to provide one for you and they do not have a liquor license, be aware that they are violating the law. The caterer may, however, refer you to individuals who tend bar, then you must hire and pay the person yourself

If food is left over at the end of the evening, you might ask the caterer to prepare a picnic basket for you to take to your hotel suite when you leave the reception. You will appreciate a snack of cheese, crackers, fruit and other non-perishable items at the end of a long day.

Beware of hiring a caterer who insists that they must provide your tables, chairs, and linens and/or serve your cake, even if your facility provides those items or you have already secured them from another source (such as a rental center or a decorator). The caterer may charge you a premium for such items. The caterer is your employee for your special day and if they refuse to do things your way, hire someone else who is more cooperative. Your time is too valuable to spend it dealing with someone who insists on having their way at your expense.

Hiring a caterer can take a great deal of stress from you and your family if you choose one who is cooperative and willing to do things the way that you want them to be done.

What Makes a Marriage Work?

Article courtesy of Rose Smith (owner of Wedding Themes and More), a website designed to help you discover your perfect wedding theme. Find more great ideas, resources and articles at her web site.

Yes, opposites do attract, however the marriages that work the best are with couples who have similar values, beliefs and interests. That's not to say you should marry a carbon copy of yourself - that would get boring and tedious very fast - (truly, how many of us want to marry ourselves?), but having a mate that we know will work toward the same goals and has the same values, will go a long way in keeping your marriage intact.

Having separate interests is also a big plus. While is wonderful to spend a lot of time together, it's the quality that counts, not the quantity. True, there are many couples who enjoy being together day and night - in fact, my own marriage is much like that. We love to be and do many things together, however we also have our own separate interests as well. Some time apart is good for the majority of couples. It gives you new and fresh outlooks on your lives, not to mention giving you both something to talk about that's apart from your daily lives and interests.

Of course, it goes without saying that communication is probably at the top of the list. Begin able to discuss dreams, goals and what's in your heart if very important, as well as having someone who will listen closely to what you say and having some empathy as to how your feel. That's not to say that your partner wants to hear constant complaints about one thing or another. Yes, we all need "a shoulder to cry on" occasionally, just don't make a habit of it.

Intimacy is also a very important part of keeping a marriage alive and happy. And intimacy doesn't mean just sex. Being close, holding hands, relaxing in each other's arms, speaking of your hopes and dreams of the future, helps to build a close relationship and trust of your partner.

And don't think sex has to become boring. Spice it up by greeting your mate wearing just a raincoat, or kidnap your partner and take them to a hotel overnight. Plan dates and dress sexy...find ways to add excitement to your love life. And remember, sex doesn't just start in the bedroom. Gazing at your lover across a crowded room with a "come hither" look or whispering in his or her ear of what you'd like to do later can go a long way in keeping the fire roaring in the bedroom.

What Makes a Marriage Work?

Article courtesy of Rose Smith (owner of Wedding Themes and More), a website designed to help you discover your perfect wedding theme. Find more great ideas, resources and articles at her web site.

Yes, opposites do attract, however the marriages that work the best are with couples who have similar values, beliefs and interests. That's not to say you should marry a carbon copy of yourself - that would get boring and tedious very fast - (truly, how many of us want to marry ourselves?), but having a mate that we know will work toward the same goals and has the same values, will go a long way in keeping your marriage intact.

Having separate interests is also a big plus. While is wonderful to spend a lot of time together, it's the quality that counts, not the quantity. True, there are many couples who enjoy being together day and night - in fact, my own marriage is much like that. We love to be and do many things together, however we also have our own separate interests as well. Some time apart is good for the majority of couples. It gives you new and fresh outlooks on your lives, not to mention giving you both something to talk about that's apart from your daily lives and interests.

Of course, it goes without saying that communication is probably at the top of the list. Begin able to discuss dreams, goals and what's in your heart if very important, as well as having someone who will listen closely to what you say and having some empathy as to how your feel. That's not to say that your partner wants to hear constant complaints about one thing or another. Yes, we all need "a shoulder to cry on" occasionally, just don't make a habit of it.

Intimacy is also a very important part of keeping a marriage alive and happy. And intimacy doesn't mean just sex. Being close, holding hands, relaxing in each other's arms, speaking of your hopes and dreams of the future, helps to build a close relationship and trust of your partner.

And don't think sex has to become boring. Spice it up by greeting your mate wearing just a raincoat, or kidnap your partner and take them to a hotel overnight. Plan dates and dress sexy...find ways to add excitement to your love life. And remember, sex doesn't just start in the bedroom. Gazing at your lover across a crowded room with a "come hither" look or whispering in his or her ear of what you'd like to do later can go a long way in keeping the fire roaring in the bedroom.

Wedding Planning with Less Stress

Many couples would like to plan their own wedding but are hesitant being afraid of the stress involved. Planning your wedding can be less stressful than what you expect and you can actually have fun during the process. There are some key factors that will significantly help you to reduce the overall stress. These are having the right attitude, starting your planning as early as possible, working with a budget, sharing your tasks with others, finding good service providers and suppliers, and exercising daily.

First of all, you must have the right attitude. After all a wedding is a very happy occasion. Therefore, planning the wedding should be equally fun. You should be convinced of this before taking on the responsibility. Wedding planning will allow you to be exposed to beautiful attire & accessories, visit beautiful venues, and enable you to taste delicious foods and cakes. Also, it will become one of those memorable occasions you will talk and laugh about for years to come.

Second, you should start your planning as early as possible. Once he has popped the question and you have said "yes", you can begin the first stages. You can start gathering ideas by attending local bridal shows, purchasing bridal magazines, talking over experiences with married friends, shopping around, and surfing the internet. Starting early will allow you to be better organized, explore more possibilities, go over decisions more thoroughly, and best of all, leave you some time to relax the days before your wedding.

Third, you and your fiancé should sit down and set up a budget. You must estimate how much total available money you will have to spend on your wedding. This includes your own as well as any money others will contribute. Later you should design a worksheet and allocate the total amount among the different items you intend to spend on. The more detailed the budget, the better. You should not spend more than what you have allocated for each category. At first, this will seem like more work, but later sticking to the budget will help greatly reduce your stress and save you much needed money.

Fourth, is to find other people who can help you. There are many tasks involved in planning a wedding and many times it can be overwhelming. Finding others to share the tasks can offer great reassurance, if you choose wisely. Remember, the idea is to reduce stress, not to increase it. Choose people that make you feel comfortable, are not domineering, and won’t trigger conflict. Also, always keep in mind that it is your wedding and you do not want others deciding for you. Choose a close family member or best friend. I personally chose my mother and sister to help me with the planning.

Fifth, shop around for good service providers and suppliers. Look for quality as well as price. Also, look for good service and the willingness to work with you. There are many out there. Some can be excellent and others terrible. I personally had a very bad experience with our caterers. Many of the people attending my reception got sick after the party. Luckily, other factors in my wedding made my party a success. Many times, service providers can make or break your wedding. For service providers, ask for references and/or ask to see them at work. If you attend any weddings or special occasions, remember to ask the names of the providers if you were satisfied with their services. This hand on experience is the best way of knowing. Regarding suppliers, purchase samples of wedding items first. If you are happy with the quality and service provided, then go ahead and purchase the rest of the items.

Finally, remember to include exercise in your daily routine. After a day filled with tasks and decisions you deserve a little time to yourself. Set aside at least half an hour to do an activity that best suits you. This can involve going to the local gym, swimming, sports, yoga or even walking around your neighborhood. This will help relieve much stress and help you feeling fit, trim, and beautiful.

I am sure that these six suggestions will greatly help in reducing the stress and set you on your way to happy planning.