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The Stalker

You normally don’t notice this friend at first. Perhaps you notice a comment here or there, or the odd Wall post by the guy, but he seems quiet, so you don’t mind. Then maybe you get a little creeped out when he posts a comment telling you how sexy you look in your new profile picture.
To be fair, this was probably an inappropriate choice for a profile picture.
You get more freaked out  when you check out his Wall again and notice the picture shrine he’s dedicated to you, including pictures taken of you walking the streets around your hometown, which you are fairly sure no one you know took. Then you start getting private messages from the guy professing his love to you and enclosing pictures of his ass for some reason. If you’re stupid enough to post your email address, you may get penis pics several times a day, as well as letters telling you how much he wants your bod. Maybe you even call the police, but they can’t do anything until one day when you answer the door to a dude with clown makeup on armed with flowers and a kitchen knife. Well, after you pepper spray the clown murderer, you probably unfriend him at this point, because clearly this is taking things a bit too far.
Real Life Equivalent:
Now, before you delete your Facebook account in terror, take a moment to make sure HOLY SHIT HE’S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

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