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The Excessive Partier

You probably work hard at your job. Obviously not at hard as you could be, because otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article while at work. I already know you are, stop trying to deny it. When not slacking off, you work hard. You look forward to your weekends off, when you can cut loose. Needless to say, it probably irritates you when you open your Facebook profile (while at work, of course) and see pictures like this:

Every. Single. Day. This chick has somehow found a way to spend all night out at the club scene and yet still make enough money to afford the cover charge. How does she manage to find time to work in between Jell-o shots? How is she contributing to society by grinding up against a stranger on a Tuesday night? Besides the obvious, that is. The point is, you’re probably jealous. You’re a slave to the Man 40 hours a week just so you can spend a few days off watching a Law and Order marathon while this person has managed to get out and enjoy life (and Johnny Walker) every evening. It gets especially weird when you throw in the fact that the Wild Partier is your Mother.
Real Life Equivalent:

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