Twitter Turd of the Week,

This may be the fastest elevation yet for someone going having 0 followers, following 2 people, and having a grand total of 9 tweets. But all nine of this moron's tweets are so foul, vile and offensive that he HAS to be our choice for "Twitter Turd of the Week."

Meet "@HansGruber_". Don't forget that underscore at the end. See, "Hans Gruber" is a popular handle for all the 16-year old knuckleheads who want to play "badass" on the Internet before Mommy calls them downstairs for cookies and milk. It was the character name for the villain in the first "Die Hard" movie. All the bad little boys who secretly want to blow up buildings with their mommies and daddies and bratty little sisters and their social studies teacher in side like to pretend on the Internet that they're scary, bad men who say scary, tough things until they hear the knob rattle on their bedroom door and they quickly change computer screens to whatever homework assignment they're working on.
We don't have much to work with here with "Hans." I did some research on the "lickenzeedickens" remark and came up with some other bad boy's My Space page and a page about movie quotes. But if that's the sort of thing "Hans" thinks about when he's not playing "badass racist tough guy" on the Internet, who am I to judge?
Here are 8 of his 9 Tweets.


I did some research on the name, and can't find anyone who I can definitely tag with this guy's moniker. Like I said, "Hans Gruber" is a favorite handle for bad little boys. Sometimes, even bad OLDER boys, like this 27-year old "gentleman" who uses a dating service designed to help people with sexually-transmitted diseases find love, even THEY use the name.

So, whether our "Hans" is a herpes-infested, gonorrhea-dripping 27-year old, or (as I suspect) just a naughty, naughty little boy who thinks saying "niggerniggernigger" makes him a badass, we salute you, @HansGruber_ for YOU are the Twitter Turd of the Week.

BTW: Anyone recognize the character "Hans" uses in his avatar? I'm guessing it's a movie bad guy played by someone who looks like Martin Short in old-man makeup.