You Are Eternally Feminine

By Allison Ryan, WomensHappiness Staff Writer
Who do you see when you look in the mirror? 
In the Snow White fairy tale, the Evil Queen asks, “Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?” 
To which the mirror replies, “You, my Queen, are fairest of all."
Later in the story, the Evil Queen asks the mirror the same question as Snow White is growing into a woman. The mirror replies, “Queen, you are full fair, 'tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you."
Finally, the Queen, believing Snow White is dead, asks the mirror again and hears, “"You, my Queen, are fair; it is true. But the young queen is a thousand times fairer than you."
I hate fairy tales and princess stories, but I have always found the Evil Queen’s words to be fascinating. They summarize the insecurities we struggle with every time we look in a mirror.
As depicted by the Brothers Grimm, the Evil Queen is an aging woman who resents and even sets out to kill Snow White out of jealousy over Snow White’s youth and beauty. The Evil Queen is narcissistic and, well, evil. But she’s only a fictional character, so let’s cut her a little bit of slack for a moment.
I have always chosen to view the Queen with empathy. She represents each woman’s internal battle to become comfortable in her own skin. By asking the same question over and over, the Queen forces us to accept that on some days we are the fairest in the land, and on other days, we  believe we are not as perfect as the woman standing next to us.
However, the Queen does not understand is that she remains feminine. She never gets that she is always a woman of beauty, radiance, and femininity, no matter who is “fairer” on a given day. This is taught in the Complete Feminine Empowerment program.
What does the mirror of self-image tell us each day?
“You, my Queen are the fairest of them all”
A day when we ask the mirror “who is the fairest of them all?” and the answer is, “You my Queen, are the fairest of them all” is a great day!
We look in the mirror and feel confident and happy. We see ourselves from the inside out: happy, mature, and confident on the inside.
On the outside, we see ourselves as pretty, which makes us embrace life to its fullest. We are more attractive to men and have more success in our careers, and we are content with who we are and where we have been.
Although we don’t know where our journey will lead, we are embracing it with open minds and hearts prepared for every twist and turn, simply because we believe in ourselves. For these all too brief moments, we truly know we are the fairest in the land. 
“Queen, you are full fair, 'tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you."
This is the answer I hear when I am having a bad day. Instead of Snow White, I see “Tucked in and Belted White.”
She is the woman I see when I am at the convenience store at 8:00 in the morning. I am in sweat pants and yesterday’s make up. She walks with her personal ray of sunshine, reflecting the natural highlights in her shiny hair that cascades down her pressed shirt, which is tucked in and belted to the perfect fitting jeans.
I have learned that Tucked in and Belted White has no actual meaning in my life. I cannot be controlled by her apparent perfection. I must acknowledge my insecurities and let them go by employing strong boundaries and believing in myself.
 “You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But the young queen is a thousand times fairer than you."
This is the answer I hear when I am out on a Saturday night at a place filled with the version of Snow White I like to call “The Club White.”
Club Whites are younger than me, thinner than me, and they have perky breasts that do not require military precision and planning to stand at attention for more than two hours (in a row).  Club Whites have always affected me in the same way. I am instantly insecure about my looks; I hate my outfit, my hair and everything else. I miss out on the fun and excitement of the moment because I have let Club White get under my skin.
I know I must accept myself for who I am and not worry about the Club Whites. To get myself back to the right frame of mind, I think about how much wisdom I have gained since I was in their high heels.
I have learned to celebrate the Club Whites and wish them well on their journey to become the Fairest in the Land. 
Letting Go of the Poison Apples
It is tempting to look at the Tucked in and Belted Whites and the Club Whites and really want to offer them a bite of the poison apple - or a sip of the poison appletini.
What would we gain though?
The Complete Feminine Empowerment program shows us how to embrace femininity at every age. Our feminine power never goes away, no matter what the mirror tells us. 
In the Snow White story, the Evil Queen never reaches the point in her life where she is happy and confident in her own skin. She wastes her life wallowing in jealousy and envy never truly able to appreciate her journey.  She never believed she was the Fairest in the Land.
She doubted herself and constantly sought validation from the mirror, rather than from within herself. 
As punishment for her wicked ways, the Evil Queen receives a pair of heated iron shoes during Snow White’s wedding. The Queen must step into the iron shoes and dance until she drops dead.
I choose to believe in myself and refuse to wear the iron shoes of judgment, jealousy and regret.